I grieved when my son was diagnosied with ADHD.

When you have a new born child, you can not help yourself – you count ten fingers, ten toes, you see their faces with two eyes, one nose and a mouth (I have a second cousin who was born with a disfigured face!) and you realize that this child you hold in your arms can do anything, that the future is unlimited and for a while you live assured that this is still the case, but then it happens one day, you find out that there is something wrong with your child, in my child’s case it was mild ADHD and mild ODD. You are aware that something is not quite right, but you cannot put your finger on it; I mean they appear normal, they look normal – But this, really Lord; now my child will live with a label over his head for the rest of his life! I was angry and shocked when my son was diagnosed.

It was now school holidays and I had arranged to go to my parent’s farm for a few days and all I really wanted to do was go outside and yell at God!!! But I could not as the weather was extremely hot. When I did get a chance I really gave God a piece of my mind, make no mistakes God knew exactly how I felt. The biggest problem I faced was that I know that I am under God’s authority so at the end of my speech I grumbled “Okay, Lord if my child is to have this then I place this into your hands.” My mum who I love dearly tried to find solutions to my problem – which I will admit she is good at, but all I really wanted was for someone to say “How could God do that to you!” I went to visit a good friend for our children to play, and while I was there I decided to break the news to her. She was washing the dishes while we were talking, she put them down, dried her hands and turned to me and simply told me the truth “we all love your son, he is a great child, but get over it. Two of my children have dyslexia, you don’t think I have felt the way you feel, get over yourself.” I looked at her children as they came inside to get a drink, and realized that I still cared the same for her children, even after I knew they had dyslexia. I realized that I had been a fool. The next time I went for a walk, I went to the Lord in prayer and told God how much of an idiot I had been in the way I was thinking and feeling. God revealed to me that when I had grumbled and handed over my son’s disorder to him, I had given up the right to feel sorry for myself, and that God had stopped me from going down the wrong path – that this was all about me. I had in fact spent two weeks grieving over my son as my mum pointed out to me when I told her what had happened, and I probably needed that time to let go of my pre conceived ideas of just who my son is and to start with simple faith and accepting just who my son is a God does. God bless you if you are on the same journey as I am – no matter where you are at.



Bookmark & Share

My kids watched their Opa die.

We knew that my father-in-law did not have much longer to live; we felt within ourselves that he would most likely not make the weekend. Having my brother’s son being baptized in the country meant we now had two options. The first cancel our family going to the baptism; or the second sending the children to the country to come back after the death of their beloved Opa. After a quick discussion hubby and I thought we should send the children away, phone calls and plans were made. I was to bring the children in to the hospital after school that day for what we believed would be the children’s last time to see their Opa. On the way to school that morning I decide to tell the children of the plans for the weekend. My youngest was at six years old happy to see her cousins and eager to go, but we had underestimated our son and eldest daughter; they felt that it was their place to be by their Opa in his final days. They wanted to be close by when he died and nothing I could say would change their minds. I picked them up from school and told them to say their goodbyes to Opa and to tell him anything they felt they needed to say. My father in law was by now having problems talking. Hubby meet me at the hospital and we discussed what the children wanted to do; having taken aside our two children for a quick chat hubby decided that the children knew best what they could handle. Our youngest child left for the country. My son went to visit a friend for the day. My daughter played netball while I coached and then went to visit her Opa with me. It was around 5pm and my father-in-law seemed to be steady, so I went to pick up my son and grab some food to eat back at the hospital. 6pm we were back at the hospital. My mother-in-law needing a break went home; unsure if she would return for the night. Hubby wanted to stay with his father, but I did not feel like we should leave him yet as the children are 9 and 11 they could have a late Saturday night if need be. My son settled in one of the lounge rooms to watch television, while my daughter went to the chapel to write a new prayer for her Opa. Just before 9pm my mother -in-law returned to spend the night with her husband. My daughter wanted to make her Oma a cup of tea, so we left the room together. On the way back we were told to quickly get back to the room, my son came running to me, we raced in the room to see my father-in-law die. My two children could not stop crying for two hours. Hubby decided to keep his boy with him as they did the final things at the hospital with my mother-in-law. My daughter and I went home listening to her favorite Christian music. First I spoke to my daughter and later to my son, touching on Ephesians 3:1-8 A time and season for everything. They say children cope better when they see a family member die of cancer. My children seem at peace with the passing of their beloved Opa. Both my children said “This was one of the most important days of my life.” I am proud of my two children and the maturity they have shown in this major life event for them.



Bookmark & Share