When you have a new born child, you can not help yourself – you count ten fingers, ten toes, you see their faces with two eyes, one nose and a mouth (I have a second cousin who was born with a disfigured face!) and you realize that this child you hold in your arms can do anything, that the future is unlimited and for a while you live assured that this is still the case, but then it happens one day, you find out that there is something wrong with your child, in my child’s case it was mild ADHD and mild ODD. You are aware that something is not quite right, but you cannot put your finger on it; I mean they appear normal, they look normal – But this, really Lord; now my child will live with a label over his head for the rest of his life! I was angry and shocked when my son was diagnosed.
It was now school holidays and I had arranged to go to my parent’s farm for a few days and all I really wanted to do was go outside and yell at God!!! But I could not as the weather was extremely hot. When I did get a chance I really gave God a piece of my mind, make no mistakes God knew exactly how I felt. The biggest problem I faced was that I know that I am under God’s authority so at the end of my speech I grumbled “Okay, Lord if my child is to have this then I place this into your hands.” My mum who I love dearly tried to find solutions to my problem – which I will admit she is good at, but all I really wanted was for someone to say “How could God do that to you!” I went to visit a good friend for our children to play, and while I was there I decided to break the news to her. She was washing the dishes while we were talking, she put them down, dried her hands and turned to me and simply told me the truth “we all love your son, he is a great child, but get over it. Two of my children have dyslexia, you don’t think I have felt the way you feel, get over yourself.” I looked at her children as they came inside to get a drink, and realized that I still cared the same for her children, even after I knew they had dyslexia. I realized that I had been a fool. The next time I went for a walk, I went to the Lord in prayer and told God how much of an idiot I had been in the way I was thinking and feeling. God revealed to me that when I had grumbled and handed over my son’s disorder to him, I had given up the right to feel sorry for myself, and that God had stopped me from going down the wrong path – that this was all about me. I had in fact spent two weeks grieving over my son as my mum pointed out to me when I told her what had happened, and I probably needed that time to let go of my pre conceived ideas of just who my son is and to start with simple faith and accepting just who my son is a God does. God bless you if you are on the same journey as I am – no matter where you are at.
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