Monday, September 7, 2009

After four steps up a ladder my heart begins to race.

No matter what you do in life, you will one day have to climb a ladder now that is alright if you are not scared of heights, but I am. This was very frustrating for my dad – who is a farmer, because there were certain jobs I was expected to help with that I just could not do. Trust me I am not good when it comes to climbing onto the back of the truck to sweep it clean. As I grew up I thought that I would be able to palm off anything which involved climbing up a ladder, but I soon discovered that if I waited for people to help me with this I would be waiting a long time.

I have often looked at a ladder when I have needed to climb it and given myself a pep talk and after having convinced myself that I am not going to be afraid this time, I place my first foot upon that rung, I smile, second foot goes up. I tell myself to focus on being where I need to be, I shift my first foot to the third and am pleased with myself, but something happens when I go to the four rung I discover that my heart has began to race, it is harder to move my legs. I am not really that far above the ground, but I feel like I am hanging over an edge just about to fall. I am now carefully maneuvering my way up the ladder, thinking of where my hands and feet need to be to get to the goal in sight. People around me seem unaware of my fear. I get to where I need to be to do the job at hand. I shakily work on doing that job, I normally only do it with one hand; the other is firmly attached to the ladder. I slowly start to climb down the ladder, when I get to the final step I jump off the ladder in victory with my heart still racing inside my chest. I have done it – I have attempted and overcome my fear. There are many times in life where we have to face the fear of doing something we are scared to do. Attempting and overcoming that fear – even if it is just for that instance is a big personal deal, often it starts with our simple faith in Jesus and our belief in who we really are.

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